Don't Go Back to Rockville

Aesir's Notes

2010-11-30T09:56:00.003-05:00

Sometimes you find the strangest things while walking in the woods. See the full set of ten here.

Football Facts

2010-08-11T18:21:00.003-04:00

Have you ever noticed that NFL coaches have short first names? This is the list of Super Bowl winning coaches with one-syllable first names:

Vince Lombardi, Weeb Ewbank, Hank Stram, Don McCafferty, Tom Landry, Don Shula, Chuck Noll, John Madden, Tom Flores, Bill Walsh, Joe Gibbs, Mike Ditka, Bill Parcells, George Seifert, Mike Holmgren, Mike Shanahan, Dick Vermeil, Brian Billick, Bill Belichick, Jon Gruden, Bill Cowher, Tom Coughlin, Mike Tomlin, Sean Payton.

24 in all. The list of Super Bowl winning coaches with names longer than one syllable: Jimmy Johnson, Barry Switzer, Tony Dungy.

So it's clear. If you want to win the Super Bowl, you need a one-syllable name, or at most two syllables ending with a "y". It doesn't look good for Raheem Morris or Marvin Lewis. Romeo Crennel never had a shot.

2010 Indy 500 Thoughts

2010-05-31T23:59:00.003-04:00

A pretty good race; they saved the best for last.

The most memorable thing was how everybody was trying to be the slowest near the end. Racing is about being the fastest, but not this time. The need to stretch the fuel to the end led the drivers to get slower and slower. It was edge-of-your-seat stuff, but it was bizarre, too.

I thought Helio would be able to go to the end and might be able to steal the win, but he had to pit for fuel. Tony Kanaan ran a surprisingly strong race, but had to pit as well. Dan Wheldon could have won it if his team had known he had enough fuel left to run flat out to the finish, but he settled for second.

Give the ironman award to Ryan Hunter-Reay, who injured his thumb in a collision on pit road. The collision caused the steering wheel to spin and catch his thumb, tearing the ligaments. He realized it was serious when he went to push a button and his thumb bent back. It must've hurt like hell, but real race car drivers don't get out of the car just because they broke their thumb.

There were more wrecks than usual, including a spectacular one at the very end. I don't need to post it here. If you didn't see it on the news, you can find it on YouTube.

They're Everywhere!!!

2010-05-31T23:25:00.003-04:00

Saturday I was out looking for a good place to put a new geocache, and once again came upon some deer. Sometimes all I see is their tails as they go bounding away, but I've discovered that if I'm quiet, they'll mostly ignore me. So of course I took some pictures, and this time I even got a movie.

After taking the pictures, I decided to creep quietly away from them. They followed me. It was spooky. They're just not very afraid of humans. Maybe they've discovered that they outnumber us. If they had opposable thumbs, they'd take over.

Spice Cabinet

2010-04-06T02:41:00.004-04:00

The jar of Old Bay is required for all Marylanders. I think it's a law or something. The hot sauce is used fairly often. I use whatever-- Crystal, Frank's, Texas Pete, etc. Anything but Tabasco, which is too hot and has a distinctive taste. Cayenne pepper sauces are better.

The Pumpkin Pie spice isn't used much; I think it's cinnamon, nutmeg, and ginger. The Italian seasoning is oregano, basil, rosemary, parsley, and garlic. It goes in tomato sauces. The unlabeled jar is oregano; it and the minced garlic go into tomato sauces, too.

The paprika gets used fairly often; it's a part of the perfect tuna fish salad recipe. The pepper's been getting used more lately, and the salt is a mainstay. Too much salt in the diet? Impossible.

That's it. Anything missing? It's probably not needed. Mostly just a dash of hot sauce or a bit of paprika is all that's required.

Something Strange in the Woods

2010-03-30T23:47:00.002-04:00

A geocacher named brentbeebe posted in the cache log for Careful, I bite back on on July 12, 2009 about seeing a "stage" located at N39 01.095 W077 05.950, and included a picture. It made me curious, so I decided to investigate. On March 18, 2010 I visited the spot.

The snowpocalypse of February 2010 was hard on buildings; this is no exception. The structure was in worse shape than in brentbeebe's picture.

(click any image for bigger)

I found a bag of nails under the floor. The bag came from Whole Foods, which has a store a few miles north of here in Rockville. I can't say the bag definitely came from the Rockville Whole Foods store, but that store (originally called Fresh Fields) became Whole Foods in late 1996.

There was a rusty saw tucked into the rafters. I found other objects nearby which appeared to be a sleeping bag and a parka. In the general area were a candle in a vase, an empty bag of "Hotsticks" (a brand of kindling wood), and a black plastic tarp (which was also used in the structure's roof). I did not find many food-related items. There was an empty plastic yogurt cup, but there is plenty of random litter of that type in the area.

The floor joists are viewed from below. Notice the nails (rather poorly) hammered in along the length of some of them. I don't know if the nails actually held anything together. None of the wood was painted or finished in any way. There was no writing, carving, or other marks on any of the wood. The general level of decay suggests that it has been abandoned for several years.

My best guess is that a homeless person built this as a shelter around 2000. I don't know where the wood came from or how it got there, although it was probably carried in. The barriers formed by the Beltway and Rock Creek, as well as the soft ground and many trees would make it difficult to bring in a vehicle. If the parka and sleeping bag came from the structure, it suggests that it was abandoned without removing anything. Perhaps the occupant was arrested, sick, or injured and unable to return.

Picture of the day

2010-01-16T00:21:00.002-05:00

What is This?

2009-12-05T01:16:00.002-05:00

On Hiatus

2009-09-05T03:41:00.003-04:00

It's official now. I'll resume posting... sometime.

His 15 Minutes of Fame

2009-08-19T02:18:00.002-04:00

...are just about up.

What Took You So Long?

2009-08-03T00:14:00.004-04:00

Let's hear it for the IRL race at Kentucky on Saturday night. They made some changes to the engines and aerodynamics, and it all came together. Side-by-side, wheel-to-wheel, edge-of-your-seat racing.

Commentators are saying that the IRL should have made the changes earlier this season. Me, I think it should have been done years ago. I remember the seasons of 2002 and 2003. That was the best racing ever. Whatever was right back then slipped away from them, and it took half a decade to fix it.

Is it just a coincidence that Tony George was just recently ousted as head of the IRL? That handed control over to Brian Barnhart, who I have immense respect for. He knows how to run a race. NASCAR could learn a thing or two from him.

Whatever the reasons, the Indy Racing League is back, and I couldn't be happier. I'm really looking forward to the rest of the season.

Look What I Found In the Woods

2009-07-29T20:47:00.002-04:00

I was doing a bit of geocaching in a local park on Monday, and as I was hiking along, I spotted this fellow about 25 feet away. He didn't seem worried at all. He just sat there while I pulled out my camera and took his picture. It's not the first time I've gotten close to some calm deer. Here's a picture of some does I saw in Aspen Hill a year ago:

Those are houses in the background. (The tombstones? It was the Aspin Hill Pet Cemetery.) I've noticed that the deer are pretty bold around here. Maybe they're getting used to seeing humans without hearing BANG! noises. Between DC and Montgomery County, they have a pretty big safe zone. Still, this is the first time I've gotten this close to a seven-point buck.

World's Worst Nachos

2009-07-14T16:57:00.005-04:00

So bad, they're good. Part of my "World's Worst" recipe collection, which includes pizza, cheese fries, and eggs. More about these in the future.

To make World's Worst Nachos, you need corn chips, American cheese, and hot sauce. Put the chips on a plate, and cover them with strips of American cheese:

Then microwave for about 20 seconds until the cheese melts. Douse liberally with hot sauce:

Don't overcook them or the cheese will get tough and make the chips hard to separate.

United Breaks Guitars

2009-07-08T00:39:00.004-04:00

I have a policy against having more than one video post on the front page at a time, so click here.

As the happy owner of a Taylor Guitar, I can sympathize. I'll be most reluctant to fly on United Airlines in the future. Maybe with a ukulele that I can put in the overhead storage compartment. Not with a checked guitar.

UPDATE: Proving once again that companies can be jerks in private but respond well to being publicly shamed, United now wants to "make it right" with the guitar's owner. That didn't take long.

A Bollywood Blast From The Past

2009-07-03T16:02:00.000-04:00

The name of the song is Char Dinon Ki Hai Yeh, but I call it Yadda Yadda. I don't even want to know what this movie is about. It looks like The Wizard of Oz with motorcycles. They even try to steal a dance step from Dorothy and company at 2:45, and fail badly. Nice song, though, and Parveen Babi is always worth watching.

Watch for the part near the end where she waves, sings, and drives the bike, all at the same time. Don't try this at home. You could try adding oil to your gas to make smoke like that. I'm sure your neighbors will thank you for adding a little Bollywood flair to their otherwise humdrum lives.

R.I.P Karl Malden

2009-07-02T20:44:00.002-04:00

(scene from Baby Doll)

An outstanding actor. I liked his performance in Baby Doll best. Watch it in its entirety here. He also had notable roles in On the Waterfront and A Streetcar Named Desire, among others.

Something Green

2009-06-26T22:00:00.002-04:00

I was out in the park for a dose of green-ness. It kind of makes up for all this rain we've been having.

It's Lydia Time Again

2009-06-04T13:55:00.005-04:00

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Words fail me. But a picture is worth a thousand, right?

Product Recommendation

2009-06-02T14:39:00.004-04:00

This is the Accutire MS-4021B tire gauge. I've had one for a couple of years, and it's great. I've given a couple as presents, and gotten positive feedback. Accutire makes several other gauges, but I like this one because it doesn't have all that programmable junk that I don't need, and you can replace the batteries.

I got mine at Target for $12.99, but Amazon has it for $8.99. The Amazon comments are interesting. People actually gave it a one-star rating because they didn't remove the sticker that says 28.5, and thought that was the actual reading. Always read the directions.

Another reviewer thought it didn't work because they got 0.0 every time, and didn't realize that they were getting the calibration reading. That reminds me: one of the reasons I really like this gauge is that it can be calibrated. I've thrown away too many gauges because they lost their accuracy.

Being a race fan has made me realize the importance of tire pressure. My cars have gotten much better performance and mileage ever since I started checking the pressure regularly. I typically use the air pumps at Shell stations, because they're free.

Here Comes Le Mans

2009-06-01T16:14:00.006-04:00

The world's biggest and most important stock car race is coming up in a couple of weeks, held in the beautiful French countryside. I hear you ask, "Isn't the biggest stock car race in NASCAR?"

Uh, no. While NASCAR still calls itself "stock car" racing, the cars haven't been stock for over a quarter-century. They are what's known in racing as prototypes. Each car is built one at a time at each team's race shop. Nearly all of the parts come from suppliers other than Ford, Chevy, Toyota, or Dodge. The race car may say "Impala SS", but it has nothing to do with the car Chevy makes besides the name.

Real stock cars come off a production line. (Thus, they are called "production" cars in the racing world.) You can go down to a car dealer and buy a car very similar to the one you see on the race track. There are races for these real stock cars, and the most important of them is the 24 Hours of Le Mans.

Chevy will be there, but they won't use the Impala SS. If they did, they'd finish last. They race the Corvette. Winning at Le Mans confers some serious bragging rights, and this is where the Corvette legend comes from.

The 'Vettes race in a class called GT1, the fastest production class in racing. There is also a GT2 class for less powerful cars. They're still some impressive beasts, like the Porsche 911 and the Ferrari 430. Next year, the GT1 class will be eliminated. Corvette racing intends to get a head start on the switchover by racing a GT2 version for the rest of this season. It'll be fun to see how they do against the Porsches and Ferraris.

While these cars are getting sorted out, they have to make room for some absurdly fast prototypes, cars that would make NASCAR cars whimper and run away. Audi and Peugeot will bring three diesel-powered monsters each, and Aston Martin will challenge them with three gasoline-powered cars of their own. Last year, the Audis and Peugeots fought an epic battle. The addition of Aston Martin promises to raise it to another level.

I can't wait. This is the stuff I live for.

Another Perfect 10

2009-05-29T02:38:00.004-04:00

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I was checking my site stats to see what people actually look at here. Wouldn't you know it, my Lydia Fixel post is number one. I can't say I'm surprised.

I say give the people what they want, so here's another. Meet Nicole Lebris, who's also a plus size model. I just love those brown eyes.

The site where I found these has replaced them with smaller pictures. Fortunately, I made copies. I can post more if anybody's interested. I also have more great pics of Lydia.

Handicapping the Indy 500

2009-05-21T02:14:00.010-04:00

SBG has the odds. I'm not a betting man, but if I were, here's my take:

Helio Castroneves: Leads the field at +300. He's on the pole, so it's understandable. He's also won it twice, but not for several years. Don't bet on him.

Scott Dixon: Starts second and is last year's winner. His odds are +350. That's not enough to make him pick-worthy.

Ryan Briscoe: He's almost as fast as his teammate Helio, but has a habit of making boneheaded moves, so he's back at +500. Don't pick him.

Dario Franchitti: Undervalued at +650. He won this race two years ago. I'd put him about +400. He's the best choice of those with a good chance to win.

Tony Kanaan: A little underrated at +850. I'd put him at +750. He's got a shot to win, but a small one.

Danica Patrick: I'd be stunned if she won. Her odds are +850, but should be about +1000. Her odds are skewed because she's a popular choice. Don't pick her.

Marco Andretti: Almost won this race three years ago, but blew it on the last lap. His odds are +1250; that's about right.

Dan Wheldon: Won this race four years ago, but is with another team. Doesn't have much of a shot. His odds are +1500; I'd put him at +1750.

Graham Rahal: The dark horse. A steal at +1500. I'd put him at more like +800. Not a strong chance, but if you're into longshots, he's the one.

Paul Tracy: Not as good a pick as Rahal, but another worthy longshot. He's at +2000; I'd put him at +1250.

Will Power: His odds are +3000. He's driving for the same team as Castroneves and Briscoe, but it's also a one-race team. I'd put him at +2000.

Vitor Meira: Also at +3000. I'd say +5000. He has virtually no chance.

Scott Sharp: Is Wheldon's teammate for this one race. His odds are +3500; I'd say +4000.

Hideki Mutoh: Vastly over-rated at +3500. He's a full-timer for a good team; Kanaan is his teammate. Still, he's never been competitive.

Alex Tagliani: +4500. Has no shot.

Ryan Hunter-Reay: +4500. A good driver who lost his sponsor and now drives for a weak team. Also has no shot.

Justin Wilson: Has a slightly better chance than his odds of +4500, but I still wouldn't pick him.

Robert Doornbos: His odds are +5000. He's Graham Rahal's teammate and had good times in practice until he wrecked his primary and back-up cars. I put him at more like +2000, but he's still the longest of longshots.

The rest of the field: The odds are +750; the only drivers left with any chance are Mario Moraes, who I'd put at +750 all by himself, and Oriol Servia, who's about +1500. Raphael Matos and Alex Lloyd are around +2500 each. So it's not a bad pick, but you're pretty much betting on Moraes.

UPDATE: Wagering Lines gives the odds for Mario Moraes at 90/1 (that's +9000). Unbelievable. I think he's got as good a shot as Kanaan, but with ten times the payoff.

UPDATE: Today (5/22) was Carb Day, the last practice session before the race. Here's the top ~~ten~~ eleven from today. Notice anything? He's still at 90/1, too.

Abusing Search Engines

2009-05-20T16:09:00.009-04:00

Today I discovered a new search engine: Wolfram|Alpha. It's supposed to have a more computational slant than other search engines. So if you enter "distance from Earth to Uranus", it won't give you a list of web pages, it'll just give you the answer: "about three feet".

No, wait-- that's not right. Search engines have as much of a sense of humor as feminists and state troopers. Even so, I decided to put Wolfram|Alpha to the test. (And what kind of a geek came up with that name? This kind, apparently. He named it after his own self-important self.)

Anyways, I went looking for the answers to some of life's important questions. Here's what I found:

What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow? (from Monty Python)
It advised me to "Use estimated average cruising airspeed of an unladen European swallow instead." It didn't automatically make the swap, so I had to make up for its laziness.
Answer: 25 mph

Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego? (from The Learning Company)
Answer: Wolfram|Alpha isn't sure what to do with your input.

When will I be loved? (from the Everly Brothers)
Answer: It gave me facts about a movie of the same name, including the release date, run time, and box office total. No mention of the song.

Why is there air? (from Bill Cosby)
Answer: Wolfram|Alpha isn't sure what to do with your input.

As you can see, not much help here. It was time to try some easier questions.

Who won the English Football Cup in 1949? (Monty Python again)
Answer: Wolfram|Alpha isn't sure what to do with your input.

What is the speed of greased lightning?
Answer: Wolfram|Alpha isn't sure what to do with your input.

What is the duration of an orgasm?
Answer: Wolfram|Alpha isn't sure what to do with your input.

How High the Moon?
Answer: It gave me facts about two movies: How High and Moon. The release date for Moon is September 3, 2009. Wolfram|Alpha says that's 0.29 years ago. I don't think that's right at all. It didn't mention either the song How High the Moon or give a distance from the Earth to the Moon.

Verdict: Lame. Even when it had the chance to make sense of my nonsense, it generally failed. It knows a few movies, but I'd still use IMDB.

One Day

2009-05-12T13:10:00.004-04:00

Argentine songstress Juana Molina and a peculiar video. The visual distortion maybe makes her look sort of ugly, but she's not. But never mind the video, really. Just close your eyes and listen.

This is the same Juana Molina who acts in the comedy show Juana Y Sus Hermanas, if that rings a bell. Hat tip to RadioLab, a podcast you should subscribe to.

Cabin John Park Panorama

2009-05-11T15:14:00.007-04:00

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This was shot at Cabin John Regional Park on April 27, 2009. There's a whole other part of the park to the west of the area everybody usually goes. I went there to find a geocache and discovered this unique vista. I always bring along a tripod and level in case I discover scenes like this.

There's not much to say otherwise. There aren't any landmarks to point out or interesting facts about the location, so just sit back and enjoy the view. It was a really nice day.

University of Maryland Panorama

2009-05-07T00:48:00.004-04:00

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I shot this one in the first week of December 2008, behind the Cole Student Activities Center. (That's Cole Field House to those of you who remember the Lefty Driesel days.) The back of Cole is on the left. The plaque signifies the ROTC headquarters.

Byrd Stadium occupies most of the center of the picture. Note the flock of birds next to the cellular tower. They must've been pretty cold. I know I was. I found out it's hard to shoot panoramas with numb fingers.

There's a screen at the top of the stands on the other side of the stadium. I think it's there to keep people from watching games from the dorms behind it. However, you'd have a pretty good view from where the picture was taken. I've never tried it, though. Maybe they block it off or have the campus cops chase people away.

If I tried to tell you all of the buildings to the right of the stadium, it'd be a long post indeed, so I won't. You can download a campus map if you're that curious.

The cars at the far right are parked on top of a parking garage that adjoins the Cole building. The parking garage isn't free, but there's lots of free parking around the campus if you know where and when.

Newark, Delaware Panorama

2009-05-05T10:10:00.007-04:00

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This view is north, east, and south from the Newark Reservoir. It was the first panorama I ever shot, on August 4, 2008. Having arrived at the top of the hill, I said, "Wow, what a view!" and decided to take some shots with the idea of trying to make a panorama. It came out surprisingly well.

On the left is part of the reservoir. The path around it is exactly one mile in length. The reservoir has only been around for a few years. It takes advantage of the fact that Newark is located right where the hills flatten out, giving a height advantage like a water tower. The location used to be a farm. I remember seeing feed corn and a dozen or so cows on it.

I used to take walks on the road below, called Old Paper Mill Road. All the way at the east end of the road is the nicest neighborhood in Newark, tucked away on a dead-end where nobody knows it's there. If you ever visit Newark, check it out.

As the hill drops off, you can see a house screened in by spruces. Behind it you can see some of the auto dealerships on Cleveland Avenue, of which there are several. The large brick building at the back is called Newark Apartments, if I remember correctly. It's on Main Street.

Further right, in the foreground is an old brick building which used to house National Vulcanized Fiber, or NVF. Vulcanized fiber was used for electrical insulation back in the 20th century. The building now contains an office park.

To its right you can see apartment buildings which are where the NVF reservoir used to be. It had its own swimming-pool-sized reservoir, fed by White Clay Creek, which flows through the row of trees in the foreground.

In the background is Iron Hill, which is, so I've been told, the largest lodestone deposit in America. The other large hill to its right is Red Hill. In the foreground is an electrical substation and a couple of small buildings which were also part of the NVF plant.

The hill the reservoir sits on is shaped like a boot, with the reservoir itself at the ankle. The toe is visible in the foreground here. On the other side of the toe hiding in the trees is a chimney, part of the Curtis Paper Mill. It used to have a sign that said "Oldest continuously operating paper mill in America". The mill was torn down recently; all that remains is the chimney.

Lastly, on the far right you can see Christiana Towers, which belong to the University of Delaware and are used for housing. Somehow, I've managed to not mention the Diversity of Underwear until now. It's not fair to say the U of D is Newark, but it is omnipresent and unavoidable. Still, I've always liked Newark best in the summer, when the students go away.

The panorama doesn't include Newark's most famous landmark, the Deer Park Tavern. Supposedly, Edgar Allan Poe was thrown out once for excessive drunkenness. It sounds plausible, but there's no evidence to back the claim that Poe was ever there. Still, the Deer Park uses a raven as its mascot, an interesting counterpart to the University's blue hen.

North Bethesda, Maryland Panorama

2009-05-02T15:46:00.009-04:00

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On the extreme left, the building with the vertical brown and white stripes is The Forum, a high-rise condo which has been there since about 1970. For a very long time, it was the only one of its kind in this area. Suddenly the last few years have spawned lots more. The building to its immediate right is one of the new ones.

Further right is a huge gray building in the distance, trying to hide behind a small sign. That one's not a condo. It's part of the federal government's Department of Health and Human Services, or HHS. The federal government has a large presence in Montgomery County, which helps to recession-proof the local economy. Circuit City can fail, but the business of government must go on. In this area, it employs many doctors, accountants, researchers, lawyers, academics, etc. Nice work if you can get it.

On the other side of the stairwell is another new condo, irredeemably beige. It sits on top of a 24-hour Harris Teeter grocery store, with its own pharmacy and Starbucks. The treetops to its right hide a whole bunch of single-family homes. I live back there somewhere.

The large white building in the center is a bus garage belonging to the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority, or WMATA. It's pronounced "Metro", but I have heard WMATA employees on the station intercom using "Wuhmatta". It makes me want to say, "I dunno. Wassamatta you?"

To the right of this building you can see a new road being built. It opens Huff Court all the way from White Flint Mall to Old Georgetown Road. This helps to make the area more grid-like, relieving traffic on Rockville Pike, AKA Route 355.

Right of that is a low-rise condominium called Strathmore Court. Behind it are cranes erecting an office/shopping complex on Rockville Pike where a motel called Park Inn stood until a few years ago. The large gray and silver building to the right of the cranes contains the Nuclear Regulatory Commission, as does the building next to it that looks like a tall black-headed robot. Between them you can see the NRC flag on a flagpole. It was a very windy day.

Between the NRC buildings you can also see parts of a couple of high-rise condos. The wide street is Marinelli Road, which connects Rockville Pike to Nebel Street without a stop light or stop sign the whole way. When I see this road, I think "Let's play Grand Theft Auto." Look at how wide the sidewalk is. You can definitely fit a car in there. If that's not enough, around the corner on Huff Court there's a "road closed" sign to smash through.

The white stuff on the pavement of the parking garage are from salt applied after a recent snowstorm. (I shot this on March 9, 2009.) In the background you can see three more high-rise condos.

You can see a famous local landmark, the Mormon Temple, from here-- just barely. Behind the bus garage, look for a pale yellow blob with a blue thing to its left. The blue thing is the front of a Home Goods store. Above it and a little to the left you can see temple's spires on the horizon.

Uh Oh

2009-04-29T22:37:00.004-04:00

Give Me Steam

2009-04-22T20:25:00.004-04:00

Rice is a wonderful thing, but everybody knows how hard it is to cook it on a stovetop. If you cook it too long, it scorches; too short, and you get rice soup. You have to watch it closely to take it off the heat at just the right time.

Wouldn't it be nice if you could just pop it in a cooker, leave it alone, and get perfect rice every time? I got one of these as a gift a couple of years ago, and it's become indispensable.

It works for veggies and fish, too-- and comes with a divider so you can cook different things at the same time. My microwave oven is jealous.

You Can Tune A Piano, But You Can't...

2009-04-19T21:08:00.004-04:00

Just when I'd perfected the tuna fish sandwich (see recipe below) the doomsayers are here to tell me that unless fishing is cut back, there will be no more tuna after 2012.

I've seen environmental alarmism before, so I take it with a grain of salt. Still, I'm a devoted tuna eater, and I don't want to have to hear the words, "Sorry, Charlie". Maybe I'll stock up now, just in case. Fortunately, canned fish keeps for years.

(A little quibble here. The Daily Mail article says "environmental groups", but names only one. I presume they've got the tuna count correct.)

Here's that recipe. It's simple, and really yummy.

1 six-ounce can of solid tuna in water
3 tablespoons mayonnaise
1 tablespoon yellow mustard
1 teaspoon paprika

Use solid tuna, not chunk. Open can and drain. The tuna should be moist, so drain it but don't squeeze out the water. Combine all ingredients and mix thoroughly. Serve on toasted wheat bread. Makes 2 sandwiches.

New Math, Washington Post Style

2009-04-08T22:17:00.003-04:00

(Some people think this guy's a dork)

According to the Post, "some" equals one, at least when it comes to quoting "experts" who support their narrative. That's some good counting there, boys.

Yuri Gagarin, Cosmonaut

2009-04-04T01:09:00.005-04:00

I used to have a co-worker from Bulgaria who called a place named Yuri Gagarin his hometown.

Some folks are looking to celebrate his flight with a party or two.

Go have some fun. Sing a song for me-- like this one.

So why DO you get up in the morning?

2009-01-31T21:36:00.002-05:00

(Courtesy of catandgirl.com)

Here Comes the Rolex 24

2009-01-24T00:52:00.003-05:00

Here's my Rolex 24 Pre-Race Rundown:

There are some notable absences. The Rolex 24 has seen a bunch of NASCAR stars in previous years: Tony Stewart, Dale Jr., Bobby Labonte, and Matt Kenseth, among others. Not so many this time. Not all of the IRL drivers I expected are here, either. Helio I can understand, but Dan Wheldon? Tony Kanaan? I can't figure that out. They're too good to miss this one.

Anyways, here's how I handicap it:

DP Class

01: Won it all last year with mostly the same lineup; I look for them to repeat.

02: Ran well last year until car troubles put them in 44th place.

2: Danica Patrick brings star power, but the real stars are Andy Wallace and Casey Mears. Unfortunately, they have a Crawford chassis.

7: Timo Bernhard is one of the best Porsche 911 drivers on the planet, and Ryan Briscoe can drive an Indy car well sometimes, if he doesn't pull something stupid. However, they're not driving a 911 or an Indy car. The good news is that it's a Penske entry.

10: Max the Axe leads a strong lineup here, for an experienced team. With some luck, they could win.

16: Another Penske entry, with Bernhard and Briscoe, plus Romain Dumas. That adds up to talent. We'll see.

22: Here's the sleeper. Dalziel, Enge, Ducote, Dumolin, and de Quesada. There's a lot of talent in this ride. I'm eager to see if they can pull it off.

45: Danger Mouse and The Prince? They won't win, but let's see which one wrecks it.

58 and 59: Brumos always runs well until the car breaks down. It'll be the same story this year; just watch and wait.

99: Another sleeper, although having Jimmy Vasser and Jimmie Johnson makes them a little more wakeful. They've got a shot if the 01 and 02 have troubles.

GT Class

07: Plenty of talent here, with a proven team and Pontiac car. Don't count them out.

33: Wright Motorsports has hired some good drivers, but they're not a Rolex Series regular.

40: Dempsey Racing? Never mind. Have fun, Patrick.

66: The Racer's Group usually has two strong entries. This is one.

67: This is the other. This one has better talent. I'll pick them to win in GT.

69: This team won the GT class last year, and is back with an identical lineup. That makes them an automatic contender. It's nice to see a rotary-engine Mazda up front again.

85-89: Farnbacher Loles throws five cars into the mix. It's a good team in general; with some luck they might get a podium finish. Or not.

It's the Helmet

2009-01-18T23:02:00.002-05:00

So why did Speed Racer flop so miserably at the box office? And why is Boba Fett such a favorite among Star Wars fans?

Answer: It's the helmet.

No, seriously. This is why Speed Racer failed:

Even Milka Duno couldn't rescue that.

This is why Boba Fett is so popular:

Any questions?

#5: Charlie Wenzel

2009-01-07T00:22:00.002-05:00

Either Charlie has changed his name, or people still come up to him and say, "Hey, aren't you that guy from the Pirate 4x4 Forums?"

For a (relatively brief) summary, try this link.

Lessons to be learned: 1. You're not really anonymous on the internet, 2. Pulling a fast one will get you busted, and most importantly:

3. Don't be a complete jerk. A little humility would have saved poor Charlie a world of trouble.

#4: Leeroy Jenkins

2009-01-05T21:39:00.002-05:00

When the history of the world is written, World of Warcraft will be credited with destroying civilization.

Leeroy Jenkins will earn a footnote. I don't really know why this clip is so popular, but I'm not a WoW player either.

#3: Holly Dolly

2009-01-04T23:13:00.002-05:00

It all started with a popular Finnish folk song written back in the early 1930's, called Ievan Polka.

This song was covered by a Finnish a capella group called Loituma in 1995.

Then in 2006, somebody (nobody's sure who) used it as background music for an anime clip, which became a viral hit on the web.

This led to a new arrangement of the old song, with a video featuring a singing donkey named Holly Dolly.

Now there are more variations than you can shake a leek at. I like the reggaeton remix, myself.

#2: The Wilhelm Scream

2009-01-03T21:31:00.003-05:00

This is to netizens what an ollie is to skaters: if you don't know what it is, just print a big sign that says "NOOB" and tape it to your chest.

Allow me to initiate you:

In case you missed it...

2009-01-02T23:31:00.003-05:00

This week I'll be posting some internet classics for all of you Ric Romeros out there. If you're late to the party, here's your chance to catch up.

#1: Going all the way back to 1998: The Hampster Dance

How Do You Say...

2009-01-01T23:58:00.002-05:00

"Happy New Year" in French?

By burning a thousand cars, apparently. Some people drink champaign, kiss, and sing Auld Lang Syne. Others commit millions of dollars' worth of vandalism.

There's a certain reluctance in the media to speak plainly about this. They use terms like "disaffected youths", "underprivileged communities", and "run-down banlieues". They seem very reluctant to mention the religion of the car-burners.

There are plenty of disaffected, underprivileged Catholics in France, but they're not burning cars. Can you guess who is? Think "religion of peace".

And a Happy New Year

2008-12-31T20:02:00.002-05:00

Akkerman's a little out of tune as usual, but stay with it.

Why Speed Cameras Don't Work

2008-12-31T01:26:00.003-05:00

Simple enough. Speed through a camera trap, then claim these clowns put a picture of your license plate on theirs. Same type of car? They found a friend with the same car you have.

The state has the burden of proof-- they have to prove it was your car. Print out this article and take it before the judge. Instant acquittal. This is why they set the fine so low, with no points on your license. They just want you to mail in the money, knowing that if you challenge it, the state will lose.

Take my advice: print out the article, and show it to the judge. Instant acquittal-- even if you're guilty as hell. Speed cameras were bogus from the start. They're just moneymakers for the state and the companies that build and operate them. Do your part and help eliminate them.

Gold-digger of the Year Award

2008-12-29T17:04:00.002-05:00

(the couple, in happier times)

It's hard to find lists of top gold-diggers, but a few names come to mind: Brooke Gordon, Anna Nicole Smith, Heather Mills.

Add this one: Marie Douglas-David.

$53,000 a week? That's seriously high-maintenance. I hope she was worth it, George. I really hope she was worth it.

The French are the Biggest...

2008-12-28T23:19:00.002-05:00

...liars.

Merry Christmas Everybody!!!

2008-12-25T00:02:00.000-05:00

Grinch of the Year Award

2008-12-24T06:37:00.004-05:00

Goes to:

Reuters!
Winning entry: No Christmas cheer as recession gathers steam

Despite the best efforts of those in the bad-news media to cast a pall of gloom over our holiday, there's plenty of Christmas cheer to be found. It's too bad the ace reporters at Reuters can't find it.

Christmas Break

2008-12-12T23:43:00.002-05:00

Exams and stuff.

I'll post when I can.

Wrong Again.

2008-12-11T23:50:00.003-05:00

Rolling Stone recently published their "Top 100 Singers of all time". As usual, they're wrong about everything. It reads more like a list of "who's got the best publicists" than who the best singers actually were.

The fact that Bob Dylan (above) was #7 should be enough proof.

But wait-- here's more. Karen Carpenter had a voice worth its weight in gold, and snuck in at #94. Art Garfunkel is another with a stupendously good voice-- he was #86.

But what's worst of all are the sheer omissions. Deep Purple's Ian Gillan is totally omitted-- and he had a better voice than Robert Plant (#15). Yes, he did.

No, it gets worse. More total omissions: Lena Horne, Stewkey, Arthur Brown, Cher, and Marc Bolan. All of them worth including. Yet somehow they found room for Lou Reed. I'm sorry, but Lou Reed couldn't even sing. At all. Period. End of paragraph.

But the worst omission of all is a woman who could give their #1 a run for her money: Shirley Bassey. Completely omitted. Rolling Stone is sad. I'm calling Rolling Stone sad right here. Sad. Wrong about everything.

If you have a subscription, cancel it. I'm serious. You're just wasting your money.

The Eyebrow Thing

2008-12-10T23:02:00.004-05:00

I have no idea where it came from, but along the way I realized that I find a certain type of eyebrows very attractive.

I like them thick, straight, and dark. A few examples:

Comedienne Sarah Silverman:

Supermodel Kathy Ireland:

Actress Ilona Staller, AKA Cicciolina:

The reverse is also true; I detest thin, arched, plucked brows. Paris Hilton comes to mind. No need to post any pictures of her.

Preparedness

2008-12-09T01:56:00.003-05:00

I hate the terms "survivalist" and "survival". They bring to mind images of Grizzly Adams living in a log cabin, or worse, militia nuts playing war games in the woods.

Terms like this do nothing to help you and me through times of trouble and woe. "Preparedness" is a lot closer to being an accurate description. You have to be prepared for catastrophe.

I recently discussed this topic with an ordinary guy who told me he'd "just take (his) chances". I told him I used to think like that. I figured that if big trouble came, it would be in the form of a Russian missile with a nuclear warhead. You could decide to either die slowly of radiation poisoning or walk outside, face the blast, and hope for a quick and relatively painless death.

Experience has taught me otherwise. Hurricane Katrina was an eye-opener for many people. It's much more likely that any crisis we will face won't be of the life-and-death variety, but of the cold-wet-and-hungry variety. A little preparation will go a long way.

In the coming days, I'll have a few more posts on this topic.

Panorama: University of Maryland

2008-12-08T01:04:00.005-05:00

(click for bigger. MUCH bigger.)

This is a panorama taken from the top of the top of the parking garage behind Cole Student Center at the University of Maryland College Park campus. You can see Byrd Stadium and a good bit of the campus to the South.

I wanted to take a picture of the inside of Cole. I was there to take an exam. It was a great place for a panorama, but one person had "concerns". That's all it takes to shut you down these days.

Lessons learned:

1. If you're around any people, at least one will have "concerns". Be prepared. Whenever you take pictures in public places, it helps to know your rights. Bert Krages, an attorney, has put together a very helpful guide to your rights as a photographer.

2. Whenever they shut you down, you will have gone though all of the steps of setting up your tripod, leveling, getting your exposure just right, etc... It's very frustrating. If you just snap a quick shot, you'll probably get away with it, but when you start setting up your tripod, people are much more likely to pitch a fit. I think I'll try quickie non-tripod panoramas in the future.

3. When the weather limits your outdoor time, get your camera set up as much as possible before you go outside. That seems obvious, but it deserves mentioning. I used an auto setting here because I didn't want to adjust the manual controls with numb fingers. You can see the differences in exposure settings, especially in the sky.

4. The horizontal level of your camera is important; the vertical level, not so much. If the best part of your view is below you, tip your camera down. When you adjust your stitches, you'll want to pull together the parts that draw attention. The sky isn't as important as the ground.

I'm Too Sexy

2008-12-07T18:20:00.004-05:00

Apparently, Captain Jack Sparrow of Pirates of the Caribbean fame is too sexy for Disneyland, even when played by the C-list rejects preferred by the Magic Kingdom.

Just one look at the devilish rogue and girls will lift their shirts. This has caused the powers that be to throw the Captain overboard. They've fired all of their Captain Jack actors in the name of family-friendly entertainment.

Now you know who to dress up as next Halloween-- and it works as a date movie too. I can affirm this from my own experience. Get that Keith Richards thing going, and they just can't help themselves.

Move the Ball a Little

2008-12-06T12:52:00.004-05:00

The old saying goes, "Offense wins games; defense wins championships." The Redskins aren't winning enough games right now, and at 7-5 are looking like they'll miss the playoffs. They either have to move to the NFC West or put up some more points.

Going into this weekend, they have scored just 208 points. Four other teams have less than 208 points each, and their combined record is 6-42-1.

The defense is strong and special teams are good, although field goals have been shaky lately. This contributes to the lack of points, but the real problem seems to be the play calling. How can you have the best running back in the league, a strong and healthy offensive line, a Pro Bowl-quality QB, a bunch of good receivers, and not score touchdowns?

I say, be more aggressive. Just one failed third down conversion will stop a drive. If you're forced to make a lot of third downs, you're going to have a lot of stalled drives. Try to get first downs in two plays instead of three.

Give Portis the ball more, with less of the two-yard grinders. Give him the chance to break a few and he will. Campbell is a good runner; give him more keepers and QB draws. He's a big guy; he can take a hit. Throw downfield, not to the sidelines.

That's my advice as an armchair play-caller, and I have an undefeated record.

Distractions

2008-12-05T00:11:00.006-05:00

Taken from a Daily Mail article, but never mind the ring-- look at those eyes.

I prefer brown eyes, and that is exactly the shade of brown I like best.

Someday soon I'll discuss my eyebrow fetish, too. I have a thing for a certain type of eyebrows. I'll explain later.

Christmas Joy

2008-12-01T20:42:00.004-05:00

I've been saving this one. Clark Griswold would love it.

It's Apollo 100, but without the cat this time.

Once again, turn it up.

Why Is It...

2008-11-30T23:11:00.002-05:00

...that the people with the loudest mufflers are the same people who think they have to warm up their car for five minutes before driving?

I just had one of those outside my window. It brought back memories of a neighbor who didn't just have the loudest muffler, he had the stinkiest exhaust. That's pretty much his car up there. Same color, too.

I didn't go to look at this car, but I didn't have to. God saw it. God remembers.

Can't Get There From Here

2008-11-29T14:15:00.003-05:00

Recently, I made a road trip from here in Rockville to South Dakota and back. (Lessons learned: Indiana is beautiful, Illinois is very flat except near rivers, and people West of the Mississippi River are just too friendly.)

I also relearned a lesson I should have remembered: avoid driving in Pennsylvania. However, I wanted to see Wheeling, WV on the way back, so I planned a route that took me through a bit of Southwestern PA along Interstate 70, then South on US 219 back to Maryland. It looked easy enough on the map.

Then I encountered this interchange near Greensburg.

Your mission is to enter the map on 70 at the lower left and exit on 70 at the lower right. That's all you have to do. I still can't figure it out. At the time, I wound up taking US 119 South and justified it as "the scenic route".

(image from Google Maps, click for bigger)

An Unfortunate Choice of Words

2008-11-29T00:23:00.003-05:00

"Commandos mop up last of Mumbai militants"

Ouch.

Let's Roll

2008-11-26T13:06:00.005-05:00

Another "always bring your camera" moment. I found this one just as the tow truck was arriving.

The driver was a teenage boy who appeared unharmed. I overheard him talking to someone, saying he'd had "a lot of problems lately".

All I could think was, "I hope you like bicycles."

(click for bigger)

Movie Moments

2008-11-23T07:30:00.003-05:00

Aubrey: The crew will take it badly. Wally was popular. Have they expressed any feelings on the matter to you?

Maturin: Jack, before answering I'm compelled to ask: Am I speaking with my old friend, or to the ship's Captain? You see, to the ship's Captain I'd say there's little I detest more than an informant.

Aubrey: Now you're talking like an Irishman.

Maturin: Well, I am an Irishman.

BREAKING NEWS

2008-11-21T08:10:00.007-05:00

There must be a word to describe this sort of "journalism".

Asinine comes to mind.

Say This With Me

2008-11-19T10:06:00.003-05:00

Adamantinomatous craniopharyngioma

"Craniopharyngiomas are thought to arise from ectopic nests of stomadeal epithelium left during the embryonic development of the adenohypophysis. Craniopharyngiomas are often designated as “adamantinomatous” when stellate cells and keratin pearls are prominent."

(Image of cholesterol crystals in adamantinomatous craniopharyngioma cyst fluid)

A Perfect 10

2008-11-15T02:42:00.008-05:00

Cover the children's eyes.

This is Lydia Fixel. She's a "plus size" model.

The fact that she's plus size is proof that today's models are way too skinny-- but you already knew that.

(as usual, click for bigger)

Wow. Just Wow.

2008-11-11T21:40:00.007-05:00

There's so much awesomeness in these clips.

They're from the other night's Sa Re Ga Ma Pa Challenge. In the first clip, Asma gives Salman a toy barbell in tribute to his passion for weightlifting, and sings "Chunri Chunri".

As if that wasn't enough, Katrina gets Salman to dance with Asma, and the hosts coax Asma into singing in Arabic.

The quality of blogger.com uploads isn't that great. If you like what you see, (and how can you not?) you can watch the originals here and here. Many thanks to surinderr for the excellent vidcaps.

The Very Definition of Cheating

2008-11-09T02:14:00.004-05:00

How do you get up the tallest mountain in the world? You climb it, of course, like Edmund and Tenzing (shown above) did.

What you don't do is drop onto it from an airplane.

Just so you know...

Joy

2008-11-05T06:17:00.005-05:00

Long ago, sometime between late and early, I was hanging out with friends. Our host decided to treat us to a "special song", as he called it. I'd never heard it before.

As it turns out, it's a modern version of an old one. So old, in fact, it was written by J. S. Bach himself.

I recall my reaction. I had to coin a new term to describe just how I felt. I called it a "pleasure flash". If you've ever felt a transient moment of bliss (in a non-sexual way), you should understand.

So here it is. Watch for the cat.

Two Hamsters, One Wheel: The Director's Cut

2008-10-26T07:23:00.004-04:00

Save this and watch it when you need a dose of hamster fun.

Your Guess is As Good as Mine

2008-10-17T05:54:00.004-04:00

Just what breeds are we looking at here? Bloodhound and Beagle? Dachshund and Black Lab?

That Poor Car

2008-10-14T23:15:00.006-04:00

I saw this Taurus wagon a few years back in a North Bethesda parking garage. Here is why you should always have a camera with you. I shot several pictures all around the car before realizing there was someone in it.

I've seen other cars filled with junk, but I doubt whether some of them are driveable. This one rolled. If you look closely, you can even see the driver.

(click for bigger)

The Travel Bug Made Me Do It

2008-10-13T14:14:00.015-04:00

(click for bigger)

It's not just any travel bug, it's a MEDCOM travel bug. That means its owner wants pictures of it at US Army locations. Montgomery County offers a wealth of opportunities for seeing sites dedicated to medicine and the military, but I know of a place called Forest Glen where they intersect most appropriately for this TB.

I used to ride my bike around there as a kid. I remember the pagoda and the "miniature european city". The old city is gone now, replaced by semi-detached housing. On the other side of the road, the Army does their business in a big blue building named after Senator Daniel K. Inouye of Hawaii.

I figured I would just pass through the area sometime and stop there to take pictures with the TB. As it turned out, I didn't get that opportunity for so long that its owner emailed me wondering if I still had it.

So I made a road trip down Beach Drive, turning right at the Emerald City, under the beltway and left. Then right and up one of the steeper hills in the area. Then left and go straight. The WRAIR is the place on the right with the fence and guards. The picture above is of the old front gate over on Brookville Road. If you click on it and look closely, you can see the esteemed Senator's name over the entrance.

I probably gave their security people something to do for a while. I'm sure they got better footage of me than I got of them. I imagined an official vehicle rolling up and some guys with badges wanting to know just why they shouldn't send me to Gitmo. I used to ride my bike in there. Times have changed.

It's Hard Out Here for a Christian

2008-10-10T19:39:00.006-04:00

It seems the Christians in India are just too good at converting Hindus. The message of peace, charity, and "least of my brothers" (Mat 25:40) has found an audience, particularly among the Dalits, or "untouchables", mostly in the eastern Indian state of Orissa.

Of course, this has upset many Hindus. The murder of one of the Hindu religious leaders, Swami Laxmanananda Saraswati, on August 23, 2008 gave them the excuse they were looking for. Never mind that Saraswati was killed by Maoist rebels-- the rebels are too hard to find. Instead, these Hindus have gone after the Christians and their churches.

According to the Roman Catholic Church, in the past several weeks, about 300 churches have been burned, and about 50,000 Christians were made homeless. Did you catch this on the news? Probably not. The media must have been too busy to tell you.

Black Friday

2008-10-10T19:34:00.003-04:00

In honor of the stock market's biggest one-week drop ever, I give you a classic by Steely Dan:

One Hell of a Race This Weekend

2008-10-06T18:27:00.013-04:00

I don't mean that demolition derby in Talladega. I'm talking about the Petit Le Mans at Road Atlanta. Ten hours of furious driving and non-stop action from start to finish. Sometimes endurance races like this are won by a margin measured in laps. This one was won by less than five seconds. It took a thousand miles to get there.

I have to say right here that if they want to capture an American audience, giving it a poofy French name won't help. But let's try to overlook that. Some of the best drivers in the world went down to Georgia, looking for victory. The best automakers in the world sent their best cars, seeking bragging rights. Audi, Acura, Chevrolet, Ferrari, Peugeot, and Porsche were all there. Thirteen automakers in all, from six countries: Germany (2), France, Japan, USA (4), UK (4), and Italy.

In the LMP1 class, Peugeot sent a great car, seeking once again to break Audi's dominance. Just like Le Mans in July, they won the pole and led many laps, but were passed by an Audi late in the race and went home in frustration. The real winner was us, who got to see the good stuff. This was the kind of racing I live for.

Chevrolet, having chased away all competitors in GT1, had only themselves to beat. They sent two evenly matched Corvettes and left them to fight it out. Fight they did, with more of the fender-banging that's become customary between the teams at Corvette Racing.

Acura squared off against Porsche in the LMP2 class, but a series of mishaps left Acura's hopes dashed. Roger Penske's Porsche teams pulled off a 1-2-3 finish.

The GT2 class was another classic Ferrari-Porsche slugfest. Just like Sebring was in the spring, with the Ferrari F430 GT of Risi Competizione battling the Flying Lizard Motorsports Porsche 911 GT3 RSR right down to the wire. Back in the spring, they had an incredible fight to the checkered flag at Sebring, trading paint and leaving dents. Petit Le Mans was incredibly close too, with Ferrari winning by seconds.

For race fans that really get into the dirty details of why and how race teams put cars on the track, this is the best thing going. And for those of you who just watch for the wrecks, there were several of those, too. Look on YouTube.

You've got one more chance to catch these cars this season, at Laguna Seca. It'll be broadcast October 19th on NBC. Check your TV guide for the exact time, or go to TVRacer.com.

Moribund the Burgermeister

2008-10-06T01:17:00.007-04:00

Back in the Middle Ages, a curious phenomenon would sometimes occur. Many people would suddenly go insane, with hallucinations and wild dancing. In 1969, it would be called Woodstock. Back in 1569, they called it Saint John's Dance. Nobody understood it, so in keeping with the times, they blamed it on the devil.

Modern scientists believe it was a manifestation of ergotism, caused by a fungus which infests grains, particularly rye. It produces chemicals similar to LSD, so it really wasn't much different from Woodstock after all. Come to think of it, I'm sure there are people who think that Woodstock was the devil's work, too.

Leave it to Peter Gabriel to write a song about it. This is one of his very best. He never made a video for it, but a fan put his own on YouTube. Play it loud.

I'll admit it, this was clever

2008-10-03T04:11:00.003-04:00

At least I didn't have to listen to that damned song again.

Tip of the Day

2008-09-29T23:01:00.002-04:00

"Rick rolls" are more than just not funny.

They're old.

And they're not funny.

If you still get a laff from rickrolling, you're sad.

Really sad.

Preachin' Blues

2008-09-28T12:18:00.004-04:00

Time to get some religion. The Reverend Peyton's Big Damn Band is here to bring you a Sunday Sermon entitled "Your Cousin's on COPS".

Hang them from the Yardarm, Part II

2008-09-28T11:45:00.006-04:00

Now the Ukrainian freighter is anchored off the African coast, with a US destroyer lurking about a mile away. What happens next? First, the US Navy will bring in some SEALS to plant explosives on the rudder or propeller to disable it in case the pirates try to move the ship.

The Russians will probably try to do the same thing. Most of the freighter's crew is Russian, so they have an interest in it as well. Naturally, the US and Russian navies won't tell each other, but they'll know what the other is up to anyways. Then they'll wait and negotiate with the pirates. Food will run out, and things will come to a head. The Russians and Americans will sort out who gets to raid the ship.

I'd place my bets on the Americans getting to do it, on account of the Ukraine being a US ally. So the ship gets raided, and whatever is left of the ship and crew heads to its original destination. You heard it here first.

Hang Them From the Yardarm

2008-09-27T16:45:00.004-04:00

It looks like Somali pirates (pictured above) have bitten off a little more than they can chew. This time, they captured a Ukrainian ship bound for Kenya with RPG's, Zu-23 anti-aircraft guns, T-72 tanks, and ammunition.

The good news is that the captured ship is slow and vessels from the US and Russian navies are racing to intercept it before it reaches port. The bad news is that it's been described as a "floating ammo dump". This could get messy.

The article mentions that the pirates even have a spokesman. I'd like to hear what he has to say. Probably something like, "Arrr!! Avast, ye scurvy dogs! We'll not be giving up our booty! We'll send ye all to Davy Jones' locker!!" He'd probably add "Allah willing", just to get us all confused.

Today's Brief Musical Interlude

2008-09-24T12:46:00.003-04:00

My Teeter Totter

2008-09-23T19:38:00.000-04:00

A new Harris Teeter opened in my neighborhood this evening. It's at the foot of the "beige behemoth", one of the many high-rise condos that have sprung up in the area. I decided to walk over and check it out.

It was crowded, especially around the free samples. I didn't want to stand in line for an hour to get the kind of freebies I can get any day at Whole Foods, so I just bought some scallops and horseradish and got out of there before any more over-friendly drones could try to help me.

I did have fun looking at a cross-section of my neighbors, at least the kind of neighbors who'd go to the grand opening of a new Harris Teeter. It was just like the Census Bureau figures for the area: 75% white, 10% asian, 10% latino, 5% black, and very middle-class.

Two Hamsters, One Wheel

2008-09-21T22:50:00.000-04:00

Meet the Dwarves. The white one is Buster, and the tan one is his wife, Maxie. They're a couple of Phodopus Campbelli, or dwarf hamsters. Somebody abandoned them on a table at the food court of the local mall, and they spent a while in the Lost and Found before I decided to adopt them.

I didn't realize just how much fun they would be. They used to play like this all the time, until they started making babies and I had to separate them. Nobody had told me they were of opposite sexes. Max was very playful, and Buster was a master of escape-fu.

They had two kids, but that's another story. They've all gone off to the great wheel in the sky, but have left me with many good memories, plus pictures and movies-- and a lot of cages, wheels, and stuff. It was fun while it lasted.

What Kind of Title is That?

2008-09-21T20:50:00.000-04:00

Some people might not understand the idea behind this blog's name. Am I dissing my home town? What's wrong with Rockville?

Actually, the name comes from the title of an old song by REM. How old? 1984. I know a lot of people who weren't even born then. Amazingly, REM is still around and still plays the song in concert.

The story goes that Mike Mills, the band's bassist, wrote it for a female friend who was moving from REM's adopted hometown of Athens, GA back to Rockville, MD. Now that I live here, it's become something of a theme song.

A Bad Idea

2008-09-20T19:00:00.000-04:00

I just can't seem to find the right tool for making scrambled eggs. I started using regular stainless steel table spoons, but the problem is that the eggs stick to them, even through the dishwasher.

So I had a collection of spoons with egg stuck to them. I got an idea. I have some toilet bowl cleaner with hydrochloric acid in it. That's got to work, right? I poured the acid in a glass and dropped the spoons in. After an hour, the acid was green and had foam on top. I pulled out a spoon and sure enough, no egg. The problem is that all of the spoons are now micropitted and have lost their sheen. They don't look right and don't feel right on the tongue.

That's one of the ruined spoons on the right side. You live, you learn.

Watching the Cars Go Round

2008-09-20T16:51:00.000-04:00

I've been a fan of auto racing for about ten years. I remember the very race: it was NASCAR Winston Cup, the night race at Bristol, 1995. I was amazed. It was total insanity and I was hooked. I guess I got lucky. If it'd been Pocono I might be writing about football instead.

Before you jump to any conclusions, let me say I'm not much of a NASCAR fan any more. I'm kind of like someone who enjoys music but the first music they discovered was The Jonas Brothers. Then they grew up and found the good stuff.

NASCAR lost me around the turn of the millennium, when they were screwing up races and upset fans were throwing beer cans on the track. That was also when the Indy Racing League was at its very best. I discovered sports cars around that time as well.

The IRL season has just ended, and the others are winding down. Maybe that's why I'm starting this blog now. I have some time to fill. I'll try to be entertaining.

A Hiccup Cure that Always Works

2008-09-20T16:31:00.000-04:00

I remember reading it as a child, but I don't remember where.

The short version: Take nine small sips of water, with a small breath between each one.

The long version, with the benefit of years of practice: Take a deep breath and let it out. Take a small sip and swallow. Inhale a little bit. Take another sip and swallow. Inhale a little more. Repeat until you've done it nine times. If you have to exhale, you're inhaling too much. If you hiccup during the procedure, start over.

There's nothing special about the number nine. I just use nine because that's the number I read. It's always worked for me, so I stick to the formula. Is that superstition? Tradition? The placebo effect?

I'm starting to over-analyze it. I do that sometimes.

First of all...

2008-09-19T19:28:00.001-04:00

This is where it starts.

You can expect blogs about auto racing (Indy and sports cars), books, movies, guns, hunting, women, music, and maybe even a little politics.

Your comments and suggestions are appreciated.